Sunday, September 23, 2007


How I wish raising kids is as easy as being said. But then, it’s just a wish, a wish that is improbable. It’s easy to become a parent, but to parent is another thing.

I can still remember how I felt the first time I saw and held my first born. I thought I had prepared my self for that moment in nine months, but seeing and holding the baby that was in my womb, nothing could ever have prepared me for it. The feeling of helplessness, the feeling of fear mixed with excitement, the feeling of amazement. But I guess what really stayed in me was the feeling of helplessness and fear. The feeling of, “Oh my, wow, he’s so small, what will I do with him, how will I hold him?” If I say my life was changed the moment I learned he has started to grow in my womb, I realized that was just the beginning. And it was just a slight shift of what I used to be. It was when I held him that my life had completely changed.

When looking at a baby, what comes in our mind is that he’s so small, helpless. I thought the same too when we were still in the hospital. But when we got home I realized a baby, maybe small, is a complete person, equipped with everything and adult has. He may not know how to talk yet, but with his crying, and how he demands to be tended with his needs through it, I realized he is no different from that of an adult. My baby is a real person, as real as me. And his life is in my hands!

It dawned upon me that having a child to raise is an enormous and fearful responsibility. Enormous because as his life is in my hands, then what he will become lies solely on what I make of him. And this is fearful because no professional training or an OJT have prepared me for this. What if I make a mistake?

Five years have passed and with two kids now since that day. I may have no professional training or OJT that have prepared me to be a parent, my love for my kids and lots of prayers has sustained me. It is hard, indeed hard to parent. Teaching kids who are capable of reasoning out; who have their wants and needs, but without the understanding yet of what’s proper and not; kids who are eager to do things on their own, but has little knowledge of what is harmful and not; teaching kids what is right and what is wrong; it’s a task requiring great amount of effort, great amount of patience, great amount of love, and great amount of faith.

I also have learned that being a parent, my life is no longer my own. I share it with my kids. And I cannot be what I have envisioned myself five years ago, before I became a parent, with a successful career, and lots of achievement. Things have become different. And since my life is no longer my own, everything I do now is not just for me, but for my kids too. Every decision, every thing that I do, I always take into consideration how will these action affect my kids. They have to be the first, and it has to be for them.

A lot of people nowadays do not want to be a parent, I guess mainly for this reason. They cannot give up their lives; they cannot give up their time. Life is just too enjoyable to give it up. If only they know that there is a great reward being a parent. A reward far more enjoyable than anything this world can offer.

The happiness a child brings is incomparable to any enjoyments this world offers. I would never exchange the serenity that I feel every time my kids sleep close to me, hugging me. No recreational activity could equal the enjoyment I feel when I play with my kids. No happiness in this world could compare to what I feel when my kids appreciate everything that I do for them, and would tell me they love me. And there is nothing in this world could ever make me feel contented and satisfied than seeing my kids grow up to be their best.

My life was good then, when I was not a parent yet. I was free to do everything that I wanted, and there is so much in this world to enjoy. But this world cannot offer satisfaction and contentment; we always have to work for more. But with my kids, seeing them being able to grow up their best step by step gives me the contentment I never found in this world. And it’s a reward worth giving up my life.

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Just Me said...

I can relate completely. I have a five year old son, and at first I felt over whelmed , and a little sad to give up my life. Now my son IS my life and I wouldn't have it any other way!!

Ginger said...

A great book on this subject is: Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas. Changed my paradigm completely. Highly recommend it!
Enjoying your blog!

Maria Justine said...

It's really hard to be a parent,I guess it is the hardest job in the whole world...but it is for sure one of the best job,too!