I have posted about handling tantrums, but I guess not about the ABC on what causes kids to throw tantrums…
Knowing the causes why kids throw tantrums is essential as it is a big help in understanding the nature of this misbehavior and at the same time parents would be able to know how to respond to their children’s tantrums.
So, what causes tantrums?
Frustrations
Kids are no different from adults, they also get frustrated. Is it not that when adults get frustrated, we become angry, the emotional surge is sometimes overwhelming and draining, and we resort to crying and all sorts of unpleasant emotions flood us. As kids are no different from adults in getting frustrated, their responses to frustrations are no different from us too. The difference is in handling themselves as they respond to frustrations. With not self-control yet, lack of knowledge on the proprieties of life, tantrums is thus expected.
Most of the frustration among kids is caused by not being permitted to do and have the things they want. Some examples are the following:
- Watch TV programs that are not appropriate for them.
- Watch TV while it’s already bed time, study time, and/or meal time.
- Play when it’s bed time, study time, and/or meal time…
- Eat candy or junk foods…
- Buy the toys they want.
Since when parents say no, it means they can’t have or do what they want. And when kids are held back from the things they want, they get frustrated.
Frustrations among kids may also be elicited by inattention of parents to their children. Inattention of parents could make their children feel rejected, neglected, or simply not loved. Adults, us parents alone, if we start to feel unloved by our partners, and even our kids, feeling of frustrations flood our emotions right? How much more our children?
Frustration among our children can and may also be caused by our own frustrations. I don’t know if you notice, but when I get frustrated my kids also get frustrated. They seem to imbibe my emotions. And it’s not just me; my friends also notice it that their kids imbibe their emotions. I have read somewhere that our children read us, and they will most likely absorb what they see in us…
To get what they want.
There are some kids who throw tantrums so that they could get what they want, actually not just some, but a lot of kids. Many parents today make the mistake of giving in when their children would start to throw a fit just so the tantrums would stop. This may indeed stop a tantrum, but only for that time being. The next time a child was denied with the thing that he wants, he will surely throw a fit again, because he knows that when he does, even if Mommy and Daddy said no, he’ll eventually get what he wants.
To get their parents attention.
Some children would throw a fit for no apparent reason at all. This is not so, some children when they throw tantrums for no apparent reason are actually seeking their parents’ attention. They know that when they throw a fit their parents will notice them, and give them the attention they desperately seeking.
The atmosphere of your home, or simply how you treat your child.
Yes, how you treat your child, the atmosphere of your home could definitely elicit tantrum responses among your children. When the atmosphere of your house is generally hostile, expect a hostile kid. Not to mention hostility at home causes frustration among children.
When you seem to be frustrated with your child every now and then, expect a frustrated kid- frustration causes tantrums.
When in his every behavior, regardless if it is a misbehavior or just simply mistakes because of ignorance inherent to childhood, you yell, what do you expect your kid learned in communicating disapproval and frustration?
Tantrums are normal among children. When we were kids, we had tantrums too! And thus this shall pass; just don’t make the mistake of responding to it in a manner that will reinforce it. Read my previous post on Handling Tantrums.
TIP: If your kids are throwing tantrums think of this: “If I am on my child’s shoes how would I want to be taught that tantrums is not an acceptable behavior?
24 comments:
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Here is a great link about temper tantrums. It has really helped me with my two-year-old http://education.byu.edu/youcandothis/toddler_tantrums.html
Wow. I like your emphasis on seeing how the world looks from the child's point of view. It NEVER hurts to take a look at it from that perspective, IMHO.
Good post i like your post & i am happy ... :.
Great post. Children are so sensitive. It's very important to always keep in mind what they might be feeling or thinking. Thanks for putting this information out there.
Being a good parent is hard work. It's easy to sit a kid in front of a dvd and let them be. But to talk with your child, educate them, spend quality time take hours that many parents feel they don't have (everybody working).
very good topic to post a blog i must do this :)
interesting and good writing :)
Wow!!! Very emphasize & clear writing, I like it…
Thanks for this. This is very informative since a child's formative years is a factor of what he will eventually become.
Sometimes as simple as it may seem, the behavior becomes too difficult to understand because the emotion of the adult is involved. Your written info gave clarity on the issue. Thanks.
Children always throw tantrums. Just put yourself into their shoes and you will understand, they are correct. Spend more time with your children.
Tantrums are a way of life for children...I have a toddler. She's not really a tantrum thrower, but she does have her moments.
Thanks for sharing such nice info .
Articles like this are always useful . There is no doubt that kids throw tantrums when they are frustrated .
Such interesting and educative post you got here. It's true that if you want to better understand children and their behavior, you should put yourself on their shoes first. Parenting can be a tough job, and it's good that you can share and contribute something that could benefit all parents and children as well. Thanks for posting. :-0
Tantrums are frustration. We're allowed to have tantrums in stores when we're not happy with service, yet our children are forced to take it to another room? Great post. http://www.Cooperativekids.com
After reading this i can see my little girls act up all the time thanks!
A child's tantrum is the result of his inability to express himself. At their stage, frustration is unavoidable for they are still in the process of learning. There are several ways in which tantrums can be dealt with. There are articles online that can be very useful in the process towards managing your child's behavior. You guys can check ChildUp.com, they offer an online parenting class there wherein you could get the best ideas regarding child behavior management.
My daughter Bella has thrown her share of tantrums, and ignoring her tantrums work as a first step, then time out, then if not controlled by that point, we take away a privlege like watching TV. She only rarely gets to level three now days. Great post.
I've recently taken in a two year old who's only form of expression was literally a full blown screaming tantrum. After three months and a lot of patience, I'm seeing results. She's learning that screaming, hitting or kicking is the least effective way of getting what she wants - I appreciate the breakdown you've outlined.
My parents would normally let my younger siblings to whine and let them do their thing during a tantrum fist... and miraculously they shut up.
Thanks for the post. Its really make me feel.
Children with special needs, such as ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), learning difficulties and hyperactivity are often recommended to participate in martial arts for kids because of the clear benefits in its structured training techniques.
I found this topic interesting and very helpful for mother who had experience on Tantrums in Toddlers.
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